


Yellow Ribbon

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M, Romance, episode-related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-30
Updated: 2003-05-30
Packaged: 2017-11-01 04:46:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hope inspires action.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yellow Ribbon

## Yellow Ribbon

by SkaterBoy

<http://www.livejournal.com/~edgecity>

* * *

Universe: Immortality  
Title: Yellow Ribbon  
Category: Angst, Drama, First Time, Romance, Episode-Related Spoilers: Skinwalker, Visage  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: Hope inspires action. 

* * *

Author's Note: For the purposes of this fic, Exodus and post-Visage CLana never happened. 

* * *

_November 26, 2002_ 8:30 p.m. 

He was supposed to comfort Lana when she told him Whitney was missing in action. For some reason, he wanted to run. He managed some imitation of sympathy, but his heart wasn't in it. He felt torn, confused, overwhelmed, and he didn't know why. 

_November 27, 2002_ 3:44 p.m. 

Lex found him in the loft. The door for dropping hay was open, and Clark sat on the floor, his legs hanging over the side and he was completely still. Clark was never still, and he never strayed anywhere near the edge. Clark was afraid of heights. 

The sun was high above the horizon. Lex didn't need to check his watch to know that it was early afternoon, just after school had let out. And Clark never came home right after school. He stayed to work at the Torch with Chloe, or play basketball with Pete, or do homework at the Talon. Clark didn't even turn around when Lex leaned against the loft railing. He knew Clark could hear him. 

"Clark?" Nothing. He stared at Clark's back, black t-shirt like a second skin. He could make out every muscle, but there was no movement. Disturbing, when Clark's breathing should lift his shoulders, expand and contract his sides. Completely lax, head dropped forward, hands resting on the side of the barn. Clark was a picture of contemplation, meditation, loss. Emptiness. 

Lex walked to the edge, careful not to look down as he gingerly sat beside Clark. He wasn't entirely comfortable being so close to freefalling, but Clark was more important than fear. He could barely feel Clark beside him, and that was unsettling. It was as though Clark had left his body. 

"He tied me to a cross." Clark finally spoke, steady, looking straight ahead. Only his lips moved, but at least he was present. "He humiliated me. He went out with the girl I wanted. He made fun of me. He made my first year of high school a living hell." Clark's fingers tensed on the floor. He was still distant, but Lex could see him start to return, his eyes narrow as he remembered. "When Lana told me he was missing in action, my first thought was that I wished it could have been me instead." 

Clark finally turned his head and raised his eyes to Lex's. "He was nothing but mean to me the whole year I knew him. But all I could think was, I hope they find him." 

Lex pushed himself back until his body was solidly on the floor of the loft, his legs crossed in front of him. Clark looked, but didn't move. "Just because Whitney did some bad things doesn't mean he's a bad person." 

"Was," Clark said, and Lex didn't understand. Clark dropped his eyes to the ground, and Lex knew he wasn't seeing the distance. He wasn't even scared. 

"Clark-" 

"I think he's dead, Lex." Clark didn't react to the look of surprise on Lex's face. Clark didn't see him. He saw something else entirely, and Lex wished he knew where Clark was. "People have already died. Whitney's too brave to survive." 

In some universe, that made sense, but Lex couldn't grasp what Clark meant. It was something Lex might have said. In his past. When there was more to life than friendship and innocence, redemption and Clark. 

Clark shifted until he was sitting opposite Lex. He was back, and Lex held his gaze. They were too close to falling. Clark's hands were resting on his knees, and Lex realized he'd mirrored the gesture. "It feels so surreal." Clark ran his hands down his legs, coming to rest over his ankles. Clark was folding away from the outside. Lex wanted to help protect him, so he unfolded his legs slightly. His toes overlapped with Clark's, shiny imported leather brushing against dusty steel-toed boots. Where there was humanness, there was death, and where there was death, there was equality. 

Missing in action was surreal to Clark. Equality was surreal to Lex. Perhaps surreality was what they had in common. Perhaps it was surreal to think that they had anything in common. 

Clark was looking through him. "You saved me from the cross." It was expected. Clark couldn't mention what Whitney was to him without reminding Lex of near-death experiences. Lex had his own anecdotes, and he contributed them to the conversation, even while thinking that it was futile. They could save each others' lives. Souls were another matter. 

"You saved me from the river." Prerequisite. "You saved me from Rachel's axe." Family. "You saved me from your father's rifle." Maybe one day. After snow blanketed Death Valley. "You're always in the right place at the right time." Not an accusation anymore, because it didn't matter. Because Lex was willing to let Clark save him however he could. 

Clark knew. He had to. "You're the best friend I've ever had." Lex knew it wasn't intentional when Clark's hands drifted from his ankles to rest over his toes. Both of their toes, and Lex wanted to know what the materials felt like together. "I don't want to lose you like Lana lost Whitney." Past tense. Clark had already accepted it, even though he didn't know. Lex admired that. Lex liked the textures under his fingers. Smooth, cool leather beside rougher, grainy leather. And Clark's warm, hard fingers. 

Their eyes locked. "Lana and Whitney were more than friends." 

Clark stayed. "I know." Lex thought he was going to leave when he pulled his fingers out from under Lex's. Seconds later Clark's palm covered both his hands. "It's enough being friends with you, if that's what you want." Not enough that he would have to take it back if he was wrong. Clark's eyes shone, hesitation and hope. Maybe some truth. 

Lex stood. The time for abjuration was past. Clark followed, his hands cupping Lex's. Clark was too far away, but only physically. He was all there. Lex could feel him. "I want more." Their toes collided. Clark probably didn't even feel it through the steel toes, but Lex did. 

Clark shifted, and Lex moved one foot between Clark's. The distance diminished rapidly, and it made Lex warm. Clark's knees parted when Lex moved in to kiss him. Lex hovered just under Clark's mouth, giving him time. Choice. "So do I." This wouldn't be the first time Clark had thought about it, but Lex abandoned contemplation for osculation. 

Clark was a passive kisser at first. Lex understood and lipped Clark's mouth gently, letting him get used to the sensation of kissing another man. He gradually increased the pressure, slipping his hands out of Clark's to rest on uncertain hips. Clark leaned into him, breath speeding up as Lex sucked a lush upper lip into his mouth, worried it with his teeth, then laved attention on Clark's lower lip. He opened his mouth over Clark's, breathing lightly, slowly tonguing the seam of Clark's lips. 

The first slip of his tongue inside Clark's lips was seductive, unexpected. Lex tightened his grip on Clark's hips, pulling their bodies together until they were flush from thighs to chest. Hard body, heavy gasp and Clark's mouth was open for him. Clark's arms surrounded Lex, held him tight, close as Lex tasted the inside of Clark's mouth for the first time. Clark gained confidence, experimentally played his tongue over Lex's and groaned, clutched at the back of Lex's shirt. Lex started rocking his hips into Clark's. 

Clark stilled. 

Their mouths parted and they looked at each other. Clark wasn't upset. Clark wasn't ready. Clark looked tired. 

Lex stroked his cheek. "We can talk about this." 

Clark nodded. "We should." 

They held hands as they talked and watched the sun set. 

_July 4, 2003_ 10:32 p.m. 

The commotion was comforting, distracting, good. Clark rested his hand over the small of Lex's back as the moved through the crowd. Clark didn't want to lose him. 

"Clark!" He scanned the picnic tables until he saw Lana waving at them. She was smiling brightly, her other hand resting on her swollen stomach. She'd been showing for a couple of weeks, but Clark still wasn't used to it. No one knew who the father was. 

He slipped his arm around Lex's waist as they approached the table. "Looks good." Lana blushed and continued to place food around the table. "Need any help?" Clark reached for the picnic basket, but Lana swatted his hand away. 

"I can do it, Clark. I'm not an invalid." A wide grin betrayed her good humor. 

Shrugging, Clark sat next to Lex. Lana hummed over the blue-and-white plaid tablecloth, arranging food on red plastic plates. She was... glowing. 

Lex was his usual charming self. It was just courtesy and some sincere pleasantness, Clark knew. Nothing like when they were alone together. "You're particularly radiant tonight, Lana." He took Clark's hand under the table, interlacing their fingers. Clark squeezed his hand. 

Lana looked about ready to burst with happiness. Resting one hand on her belly, she reached into her back pocket and withdrew an envelope. "I got a letter from Whitney today." She handed it to Lex, who looked at the postmark. 

"He sent this in April?" He slid his finger under the flap and removed the letter, looking over it briefly before passing it to Clark. 

"Well, they've been censoring the mail." Lana sat down awkwardly. "But at least he was able to write to me. I'm so glad they found him." Tears glistened in her eyes. "See this?" She put a hand on her breast, just underneath a yellow ribbon. "It means hope. When Whitney comes home, he's going to ask me to marry him." 

Clark didn't ask if Whitney knew about the baby. He didn't ask if Lana was going to say yes. He listened to Lex and Lana share small talk. When he couldn't resist anymore, Clark moved their conjoined hands to the side of Lex's knee and stroked with two fingers. Lex moved his leg into Clark's touch, gently scraping his fingers over Clark's palm. The caress sent shivers all through Clark's body and he felt his skin tingle in anticipation of tonight. They'd planned tonight for a long time. They just had to get through the fireworks. 

11:33 p.m. 

Goodbyes took too long, but Clark forgot about anticipation as Lex opened the passenger door for him. Clark swooped in for a spontaneous kiss, glad when Lex kissed him back in front of everyone in the parking lot. No one seemed to notice. 

The ride home was nerve-wracking. Clark didn't even realize he was rapidly tapping his foot until Lex's hand came to rest on his knee. He stopped tapping immediately and closed his eyes. Lex squeezed his knee before moving farther up his thigh, thankfully not going too far. He still had to make it to the mansion. 

Lex's bedroom was surprisingly modest. He had a four-poster oak bed, far simpler than Clark had expected. The thick green comforter cushioned Clark as Lex kissed him down onto the bed, kicking off both their shoes as they scooted into the center of the mattress. Lex pulled back and looked down into his eyes, unspoken question. Clark answered with a smile and a tentative brush of his hand over Lex's chest. 

Lex's eyes burned into him. Clark watched as Lex lowered himself onto his back, pulling Clark's hands with him. Clark kneeled over him, leaning down to kiss Lex's parted lips as he unbuttoned the first button. He followed his fingers with his mouth, kissing down Lex's chest until enough skin was exposed to push the shirt aside and find Lex's nipple. Lex surged up at the first touch of lips, gasping, running his hands over Clark's hair. Clark suckled lightly, deeply, licked, kissed. He teased his teeth over the quickly hardening flesh, laving it with his tongue and kissing one last time before moving down toward Lex's stomach. 

The shirt slid easily out from Lex's slacks, white cotton falling to his sides. Lex sat up briefly and helped Clark remove the shirt completely, dropping it on the floor without a second thought. Clark traced his finger over the skin just above the waistband, lowering his head to mouth Lex's trembling stomach. He blindly unbuttoned the slacks, five buttons, each one more difficult to open than the last. Clark moved to stand beside the bed and pulled off the pants and briefs at the same time, crawling next to Lex before they hit the carpet. He felt Lex watching him as he took in Lex's body, ran his hands over the now-familiar skin and flesh. He'd seen Lex's naked body before, felt Lex's nudity on him, under him, behind him, between his thighs. They'd done almost everything together and tonight, they were finally doing everything. 

Clark impatiently peeled off his t-shirt as Lex unzipped him and dragged off his jeans and shorts together. Then Lex was on him, laving attention on his neck, behind his ear. It felt so good when Lex licked over, around his ear. Lex's tongue thrusting into his ear was too much. Clark pushed Lex firmly to his back. Lex acquiesced enthusiastically, reaching for the lube they'd left on the nightstand last time. Clark paused to stare as Lex relaxed into the mattress, spreading his legs. He ran a shaky hand over Lex's thighs and Lex spread out even more, an image Clark could gaze at all day. Lex nodded, and Clark squeezed the half-empty bottle until his fingers were covered. 

He couldn't remember ever feeling so big and clumsy. His finger seemed too big so he tried to take it slow, rubbing small circles that made Lex press his head back. Clark finally managed to get the first finger in and Lex squeezed his eyes shut, reminding Clark that this was a first time for both of them. Lex had been with two other men in his lifetime, and he'd been on top both times. When he'd asked Lex why he would be the first, Lex had just smiled and said that Clark made him want to try new things. Clark had smiled back, and that was when they'd started planning for tonight. 

Clark added another finger, not sure if he could get it in. Lex tightened around him briefly, then took a deep breath through his nose and managed to relax. Clark was careful as he tried to remember what Lex had told him, tentatively attempting a third finger before believing Lex was ready. Lex threw back his head and his mouth dropped open, emitting a series of harsh gasps. "Lex?" 

Lex panted hard. Shocked, Clark stilled his fingers, watching Lex's face until his breathing slowed. "It's... different." He inhaled deeply one time, then met Clark's concerned gaze. "It's okay." Each syllable came out short and sharp, but Clark was sure it was okay to continue. Lex kept his eyes clenched shut as Clark moved his fingers around, stretching him. When Lex started pushing onto his fingers, Clark pulled out carefully. Lex looked up at him with glazed eyes. 

Not breaking his gaze, Clark started to slick his cock, purposely not warming up the lube. He was afraid he was going to come any second now, he was so hard from watching Lex and having his fingers inside him. He knelt between Lex's legs, shivering in anticipation. 

Lex raised his hips eagerly, tossing aside a corner of the comforter to grab two pillows. Clark took them and gently placed them under Lex, lowering Lex until he was settled. He held Lex's hip in one hand and positioned himself with the other. Clark's head dropped back the second he felt Lex under his cockhead, had to bite down on his lip and tell himself to wait. One press forward brought him shockingly inside Lex, already throbbing head of his cock squeezed incredibly tight by that first push. He didn't move, trying to control his breathing, eyes rolling back in his head. It couldn't be like this so soon. Then there was an encouraging hand on his arm. His hand slipped over his cock, brushed over his balls and then he was coming, hard, all over Lex's thighs and balls and cock and the comforter and pillows. Clark let out a throaty groan, unable to stop, not wanting to stop. Lex kept his hand on Clark's arm, and Clark thought he heard Lex moan. 

He collapsed face-first in the mattress, more out of embarrassment than anything else. He didn't realize how much he'd tensed up until he felt Lex's hand rubbing his back. "Clark?" His voice was soft, comforting, and Clark hid his face. He was mortified. This was supposed be perfect, and he'd ruined it. Hadn't been able to control himself. 

"Clark, it's okay." Lex stretched out beside him, soothing presence that was trying to tell him everything really was okay. He didn't say anything for awhile, relaxed under Lex's hand. Lex pressed against him, offering him body heat and understanding. "It happens sometimes. You didn't do anything wrong." 

Clark shifted onto his side. Lex was looking at him, so kind, even when Clark had done... that, and Lex was still hard. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. Lex gathered him close and kissed him deeply. "Don't apologize. We can try again." Clark looked up with hope in his eyes. "Really?" 

"When you're ready. There's no reason to rush this." 

_July 5, 2003_ 12:17 a.m. 

Clark waited for Lex to get comfortable, then pulled Lex's ankles onto his shoulders. Lex swallowed and Clark tried to smile. Lex looked as nervous as he felt. Closing his eyes, Clark pressed inside slowly, holding his breath until he was halfway in. He forced his eyes open to see how Lex was doing. 

Lex lay still until he realized Clark wasn't moving anymore. He reached for Clark's arms and together they pulled Clark further in. Clark stopped every time Lex winced, wanting it to be just right. And then, all of a sudden, he was... there. All the way in and god, so tight, like nothing he'd ever experienced. Tighter than Lex's mouth, Lex's throat, squeezing completely around him. It seemed like his senses were heightened, the throbbing in his cock intensifying as, oh god, Lex tightened around him. They both needed time to get used to it, and this was perhaps the best kind of waiting Clark had ever done. 

He gripped Lex's hips, not having a clue how he was going to stay upright. He thrust slightly once and Lex grunted. He tried one more time and fell forward, somehow managing to stay inside as Lex's cock coated his stomach with stickiness. It must hurt for Lex's legs to be pushed so far back onto his chest, but when he tried to move back Lex grabbed his shoulders, pulled him down and plundered his mouth. Clark moaned and started moving on instinct, rocking his hips forward and back and clutching Lex's thighs, the new friction driving him crazy. Nothing had ever felt like this. Nothing. 

They were moving together, Lex meeting him thrust for thrust and matching the rhythm with his tongue. Clark desperately sucked on Lex's tongue, started rutting into Lex as he felt Lex swell between their bodies. He reached between their stomachs to grasp Lex's cock, pumping awkwardly in the limited space but Lex's moans left no doubt that he was doing something right. And, right, it was so right, right and tight and hot and good and the best fucking feeling ever and then he was coming and coming inside Lex and Lex was pulsing between them and it was just everything, emptying and filling all at once. 

They collapsed onto the deep purple sheets together. The comforter had fallen off the bed at some point, but all Clark cared about was Lex filling up his arms and holding him and Clark wondered how he'd ever wanted anything else. They shared a languid kiss before Clark pulled the sheet around them, settling in for the best night of his life. 

12:15 p.m. 

"Lana's coming over." 

Clark looked up from his cereal. "Did she call?" 

Lex nodded. "You were still asleep." He leaned against the doorway, watching Clark eat. He wasn't surprised, not really, that Clark looked the same. Last night had been a first, but it was only a extension of what they'd already done, of a season of firsts. Clark hadn't lost any innocence last night. That had happened long ago. 

A knock at the main door brought Clark's eyes up to his. Clark smiled around his spoon and Lex just looked at him for a second before smiling back. Clark's eyes softened, then he turned his attention back to his breakfast. 

Lex ushered Lana in, his smile fading when he saw charcoal-colored lines streaking her face. "Lana, what's wrong?" She sniffed and seemed to hesitate for a second before leaning into Lex, burying her face in his shoulder. Lex was taken aback and more than a little worried, but he recovered enough to put his arms around her. He rubbed her back and vaguely though that he'd never been hugged by a pregnant woman before. 

When she pulled away, Lex barely registered the wet tears covering his shirt, smears of mascara no doubt staining it. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and she looked up at Lex, the twinkle in her eyes gone, good cheer deflated. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and swayed from side to side, crying silently. "I just got a call from Sheriff Adams." She sniffled and Lex was suddenly aware of Clark's presence behind him. Clark put a hand on his shoulder. "She wants me to identify a body." 

Clark's hand tightened on his shoulder, his other hand coming around to rest on Lana's arm. Lex didn't ask who it was. He had a pretty good idea. "I can't do it alone." She stared past them, toward a place Lex couldn't see. He nodded. "We'll go with you, Lana." He caught her as she swayed forward and sobbed into his shoulder. Clark reached around to stroke her hair. 

Lex offered to drive and Lana didn't argue. She walked ahead of them, head bowed, hugging herself. Lex rushed forward to open the passenger door of her Volkswagen, yanking his hand away when the heated metal burned his skin. He used the hem of his shirt to open the door, turning around to see Clark already in the back seat. The driver's side door was just as hot. 

12:53 p.m. 

Sheriff Adams took in the threesome, eyeing them skeptically. Lex was grateful when she didn't say anything, only motioned for them to follow her. 

Lex had never met with Sheriff Adams under these conditions. 

The morgue was cold, silver, and sterile. At first glance it looked like an overly ambitious filing cabinet. Sheriff Adams crossed the room, checking the label before pulling a drawer open. It slid open, eerily silent, and all Lex could see when he approached was a white sheet over a mass with pale feet emerging from the end, a tag dangling from the big toe. Sheriff Adams' expression was forced and neutral as she lowered the sheet on the body. 

He heard Lana gasp, felt Clark's hand tense in his. Lex just stared. The body was barely recognizable, one side blackened with burn marks, shrapnel still lodged in the flesh. Enough of the face was left for Lex to know it was Whitney. 

Lana was sobbing. 

Clark was gone. 

"That's him." She choked on her tears. "Oh my God, that's him." Lex instinctively turned to face her, blocking the view with his body. He sensed Sheriff Adams closing the drawer behind him as Lana gaped at the floor, tears dropping to the white tile. Sheriff Adams nodded toward the door. "You might want to go somewhere else." Lex nodded and led Lana out of the room. She allowed herself to be maneuvered into the lobby. He filled out the paperwork, handing it to her so she could sign it. 

Sheriff Adams sat across from them. Lex noticed the manila envelope in her lap, saw her wait patiently for Lana to hand her the forms. Lana looked up, her face a streaked mess, her eyes a vision of anguish. Sheriff Adams held out the envelope. "These were with his body." 

Lana opened the envelope with shaking hands. She withdrew a ring tied to a loop of yellow ribbon. "Oh God. He kept it all this time." The sheriff rubbed her arms and spoke in a low soothing voice, nodding Lex toward the entrance. Lex went out to the parking lot to find Clark. 

Clark was on his knees, leaning heavily into the brick wall. It was as though the wall were supporting him, keeping him upright. Lex approached slowly and saw Clark lurch forward, shoulders heaving as he retched. Lex put his hands on Clark's shoulders, brushed back his hair, buried his face between Clark's shoulder blades. The sun beat down on them relentlessly as they held up the brick wall. 

_July 8, 2003_ 11:00 a.m. 

They sat in the second row together, holding hands. Lana was standing at the podium, giving a broken speech about what Whitney had been to her, introducing the next speaker. The ring swung against her collarbone as she stepped down to sit beside Nell. 

The humidity fogged his vision, his brain. This was Smallville, and Smallville had seen death before, but Clark had never seen it like this. So close. So personal. So gruesome. 

He had almost escaped. He had found someone to make sure the letter got to Lana. The entire camp had been blown up. Everyone within three miles had died. 

The casket was propped behind the speaker. Whitney's commanding officer signaled the 21-gun salute and Clark jumped with every shot. A breeze rustled the American flag that clung to the coffin, red and white waving to the gathering of townspeople. Blue and white remained still, staying close to Whitney. 

Clark felt sick again when they lowered the coffin into the ground. Lana's shoulders shook and Clark closed his eyes, willing himself away from Smallville. The sun burned strong on the back of his neck. 

Clark opened his eyes. The funeral was over. 

_September 20, 2003_ 1:13 a.m. 

Lex leaned against the balcony railing, staring out over the grounds. The glow of the half moon was nearly oneiric as he felt Clark walk through the open doors and wrap his arms around Lex from behind. Lex leaned into the touch, sighing as Clark brushed kisses over his scalp. The phone rang, but they ignored it. 

He turned in Clark's arms as the answering machine clicked on. "Lex, this is Nell Potter." Her voice was radiant even over the machine. Lex smiled as Clark ducked his face until their foreheads touched. "I'm just calling to let you know that your goddaughter has arrived!" Clark's smile flooded him with warmth. "She's a little small, but healthy." Suddenly Lana's voice came over the phone, soft but strong. Lex could hear her smile. "Whitney Alexandria is beautiful, Lex. I can't wait until you and Clark come to see her." Lex leaned into Clark's kiss, dropping his hands to rest on sure hips. Clark kissed him gently, slowly, hypnotically. 

The answering machine clicked off as Clark moved into the bedroom, reaching his hand back, knowing Lex would take it. They sank onto the bed together and Clark smiled over him. "You're a godfather." 

Lex reached up to caress Clark's cheek. "Come here." Their lips met in a kiss as the wind ruffled the curtains near the balcony. The night was warm with promise, and Clark gave himself over to sensation. 

* * *

(end) 

Author's Note: The yellow ribbon represents hope, support of the military, and suicide prevention. 


End file.
